Saturday, January 22, 2011

Why I Disappeared

I started up this blog and posted for awhile and then stopped in early November. It has been a busy time. Our third child, Laura Elizabeth, was born on November 15. She is a lovely baby full of smiles and fun (she is also an extraordinarily voracious nurser!). Having a third child after losing one's job is a challenge, but it was softened at least by the severance I was able to negotiate from my former congregation.

Right now my family and I are close to a decision on relocating. It will be too bad to have to leave Erie, but you have to go where the opportunities are. For whatever reason, even part time, temporary church work opportunities have not opened up for me in this area.

This has been a time of reflection and hopefully renewal. I have come to understand a few things about church work and life, namely that there are three major parties to any ministerial relationship. There is of course the pastor; there is the congregation; and there is the Presbytery. The pastoral relationship will succeed when all three parties strive to follow God's Word and will ... which means being ready to self-reflect and improve in areas that need growth. In my opinion, I made many mistakes as pastor of my last call, but my conscience is clear in that I tried to minister to congregants and staff members with love and respect. And, I tried to improve areas that needed improvement. The other parties in the relationship (congregational leadership and Presbytery) will need to discern how they handled aspects of this relationship.

In any case, my ministry at my former church ended rather badly, although I felt blessed by the many people there who did support and love my family and me. Indeed (and this is another aspect of understanding church life), I think a majority of people were and are good, kindly people who wanted the best and tried sincerely to follow Jesus Christ. But from my perspective, the "Silent Majority" (Godly Majority?) did not set the tone of the church. Why is that? I think my biggest regret is that I could not surmount the long-standing conflicts caused by just a small number of people. Instead of mastering the conflict, I was mastered by the conflict.

But God willing, this is not the end of my ministry as a whole.

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