Life in the Wilderness

Life in the wilderness is a recurring Biblical theme, from the Exodus to Jesus' 40 days of temptation. The wilderness is not an easy place to be. But it is sometimes a necessary place to be. Being without a call, and feeling isolated from church life, represents my own time in the wilderness. I wish I was not in the wilderness. The wilderness is a dry and forbidding place sometimes. But here I am, and here I need to deal with it. It is my hope that this time in the wilderness will not last much longer, and that the "Promised Land" of a new call and a feeling of usefulness to others lies just ahead.

What keeps me going, through this period of unemployment and underemployment (part time work at $8 an hour), is the sense that God has placed a call on my heart to be a pastor, which has not been removed in spite of a troubled last call. Ultimately, the sense of call is something deeply individual, and while the actions of a congregation or a Presbytery may impacy upon that, it is still God alone who guides my sense of call and my conscience. And the sense of call is still there. Thank God for that.

Update: and there IS life in the wilderness. Despite the problems of my last call, I have been blessed by many expressions of interest from prospective church employers. I have been as honest as possible about the circumstances of my last call, and while a few churches did withdraw from contact after my last call ended, in general I have felt a real level of acceptance and appreciation for being honest and humble enough to admit mistakes and seek improvement. Maybe that's one of the great lessons of being in the wilderness.